I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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