..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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