She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
