why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
