I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
