i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
barbara walters just said penis...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
