I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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