roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
