i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
