Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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