Just fell off a train. Bad.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize