My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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