Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
