It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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