we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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