Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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