8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
