i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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