Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
