it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
