Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
