I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Still dying that you shit outside
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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