I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
