i think my tv is drunk
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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