just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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