I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
