i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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