hotel room ftw
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
