i would punch a child for taco bell
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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