I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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