Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
