I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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