I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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