it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
