think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
