He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
