Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize