it wasn't lemon gatorade
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
