Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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