i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
