does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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