someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
