Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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