Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
