So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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