It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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