I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
