I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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