I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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