like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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