So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
