I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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