Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
