It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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