They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
