Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
