you will always have a special place in my vag
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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