The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
