A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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