i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
