Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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