i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
