Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
