News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
