so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
