thus making me awesome and them whores
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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