We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
