I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
