Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
