I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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