So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
