i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
