Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
