i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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