We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want to be your penis for a week.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
